Me and Carnatic Music


My relationship with Carnatic music has been of ambivalent nature.

As a kid I was very much interested in dancing. When I was in KG1 & KG2, I used to dance on my own in verandah in my house. I do not know whether I was good at it or not, but then I didn’t care because I was enjoying myself. Seeing my interest in dance, my parents decided to let me go into dance class. Simultaneously they enrolled me (and my brother also started coming with me) into carnatic music, thinking it’ll help me for my dance. Initially I didn’t bother about music classes as I was more interested in dance and just went there to please my parents. But within one year my dance classes ended as the teacher was not good and there were no other proper dance teachers. I was totally dejected and disappointed. But my music classes continued. Now the whole point was that my interests were fully in dance and not in singing, due to which in a way I started hating music lessons. But then went for the classes till my 12th with my brother (he loves it) as everyone expected me to.

During the Navrathri days, I used to have tough time. I loved going to everyone’s house and see the gollu, but then hated the part when I would be asked to sing. Whenever I go to some one’s place or to some wedding, after asking about my studies, the next thing am asked or told is to sing a song.

I love listening to Carnatic music. MS is Goddess and her voice gives one a divine feeling. And I love to go to kucheri’s. But then I hate singing especially in front of all. Unless I’ve interest in it, how can I sing from my heart?

One day in hostel, i waslistening to carnatic music in radio and got so much involved that i stared singingalong with it. Now i don'tknow if i was singing well but then again i didn't care as i enjoyed at that moment. But that doesn't mean i will enjoy singing all the time, especially when people ask me to at all times. Its my interest.

Well after my 12th, I left music classes. Now whenever I meet a relative or some family friend, one of the questions among the normal set of questions is surely about my singing. Once I tell them I’ve stopped going to classes, I’m advised to re-join and continue as am supposed to be good at it.

Now how can I tell them about my strange relationship of love-hate with carnatic music to them?

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