Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Father, Not a Friend.

I am my daddy’s girl!

I still remember one of my relatives (err..Mom’s Bro’s Wife’s Cousin’s Wife :roll:) telling me that she was busy collecting 70 things that her father likes to give him as gifts for his 70th Birthday!

That put me into thinking. If I were to start collecting my dad’s (or even my mom’s) favorite things, my list not go even beyond 5(even that would be tough). That’s how my family is!

We are a close but very formal family. The relationship is just parents-kids and not beyond that. If someone were to ask me to describe my dad in my terms, hmm it will be tough.

A Strict person, short tempered (who will scold us but the next moment will forget about it and talk normally) and well….

We have in our lives a lot of role models, from whom we learn a lot which we can define. But from our parents whatever we learn can never be defined. They are the ones who mould us to what we become in future. We keep learning from them always.

From Day 1 of our life till the day we die, they are there with us (physically or in our minds and hearts).

I have to thank my Father for lots of things, hmm practically everything. I have seen lots and lots of my friends whose parents are very protective and won’t let them go out easily, by which I mean, staying in hostels, eating outside due to unhygienic conditions etc. They will ensure that their kids are always in secure and protective way in the world.

But my father was different in these.

First things first, he was strict during our childhood to ensure we never became spoilt kids. He used to tell our mother never to allow us to sleep in afternoon. This will ensure we slept well at night and our habit till date has become that. He made us eat whatever was served in our plate without fussing. His logic was simple. One day everyone will eat what I like and another day what my brother likes and so on. We should never fuss about food as we won’t get everything everywhere(this indeed helped us during hostel days!).

My father would say we should eat from the road side shops also. Simple, it increases your immune system.

He never cut the cable connection during our exam time or even took leave for our exams like his colleagues did. He will ask - “Why give more pressure to kids? They know what they have to do”. During my 12th board exam, only in our house cable connection was still there to watch World Cup. My dad told me and my brother clearly that we know how important these exams are. And for him World cup matches. It’s up to us to score well in 12th board without being bothered about TV running in hall.

His thinking was simple, unless we experience it ourselves we won’t learn.

He had stayed in hostel and knew the hardships one faces there. And he wanted us to experience it.

When I and my brothers were heading to our new hostel and college life, his advice was simple -

‘Enjoy life. Go and hang out with your friends, roam the city, watch movies, eat outside. These days will never come back. But always remember for what you have gone there. Study when needed and know your own limits of fun!’

When we are a small kid learning to ride cycle, what do our fathers do? Initially they hold the cycle for us to balance and run behind us. After sometime when they think that we can manage very well he takes of his hand unknown to us but still keeps running behind.

This is exactly what happens in our lives too. My father wanted us to experience life ourselves and learn from it. But he was there right behind us running, ready to hold and balance us in case we needed help.

I have heard my friends call their parents very informally and even with their names but as far as my family is concerned, I can’t even imagine calling my parents by name or even say ”Tu”, “Tum” , “Nee” instead of “Aap”,”Neenga”.

There are things we don’t or cannot share with our parents. The current generation(am also in that :P) is trying to bridge that gap and be more of friend to their children than strict parents).

Even today when I have to make a decision, my first thought would be what will my father say? If I have to approach and talk to my father about something, I think twice before talking to him.

But I feel, let the relation be of parents-kids than friends-friends. It’s better this way.

I would be glad to remember him as my father, who was strict but at the same time lenient.

Trust me the fear about what my father will say does help us to take right decisions!

But Ill be my daddy’s girl always!

P.S - In many places, I would have generalized and not specified dad alone because it’s both the parents together who have taught everything. I don’t have any story as such to share here though as my dad has been an inspiration,role model and everything always.

P.P.S - I have always believed that a separate day for such things should never exist, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Women’s day, Valentine’s Day.


sushobhan roy said...

post it as part of blogadda..:)

Visit the site blogadda.. and follow the rules.. :)

bhupesh said...

It is hard to repay them